If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
