So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
