haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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