even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I got inside last night via doggy door
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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