My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
