So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
