You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize