Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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