..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
