My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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