D3 body, D1 cock
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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