are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
