Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
