Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She's the barista slut.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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