What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
