Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
