Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She said her name was "party"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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