Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
