i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
