yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
