The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
