I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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