hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
