Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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