after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
