just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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