i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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