Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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