This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
