What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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