rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
