Moan for me like Helen Keller
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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