Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize