He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
