Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
