she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just found puke in my bra..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize