I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
