Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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