Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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