He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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