i think my tv is drunk
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
