ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
