no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
