She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
