Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
