I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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