you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She's the barista slut.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
