So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
