I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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