noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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