How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
