I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
