she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
