You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
