you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
