STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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