Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize