Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
