I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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