Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
