She is in my trunk
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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